Six months ago I would have told you that Jay and I highly valued our marriage and were in a good spot. While those things are both true, what I recognized through the life plan writing process is that we were doing very little to grow together as a couple.
Our house is BUSY! The kids are at ages that they are very demanding of our time, energy and focus. What I started to realize going through the life plan process is that we were spending time together as a family, but it was totally focused on the kids. We would start to have a conversation and about two sentences in we were interrupted. By the time the kids went to bed, we were both exhausted and would turn on mindless TV together but purposeful in-depth conversations was the exception and not the rule.
Our family had become very child-centered and not marriage-centered. I started to realize that this was an area of my life that I needed to make a change. We have begun to be more purposeful in having conversations. Actually turning off the TV and getting the kids busy on something else, and having real conversations.
Someone gave us a devotion book for married couples when we got married and I have to confess it sat on the book shelf unused for years. Several years ago, we opened it and found that it was a perfect way to start our mornings together. It is a quick read, includes scripture, devotion, prayer and a thought/question. I won’t lie and tell you we do this every day, because we don’t, but some is better and none. Being in God’s word together, even if for just a few minutes has been a wonderful thing for our marriage.
The other thing that I have changed in this area is praying more diligently for Jay. Some of the things that I pray for him . . .
- that he continues to seek the Lord and grow in relationship with Him – Prob 3:5-6, Eph 5:15-16
- that he will walk in obedience and glorify the Lord in his choices – 1 Cor 10:13, John 7:17-18
- for wisdom, knowledge and understanding – Eph 1:16-19, 2 Peter 3:18, Prov 2:7, Prov 9:10, Psalm 112:1
- that God would bless the work of his hands – Psalm 90:17, Col 3:23-24
- for his health, safety and protection – 3 John 1:2, 1 Cor 3:16-17, 1 Cor 6:19-20, Psalm 4:8, 2 Thess 3:3
- for our marriage – Eph 5:23-29; 1 Peter 3:7
- that he leads our family well and is a Godly father to our kids – Eph 6:4, Col 3:21, 2 Tim 2:1-2
Jay and I are celebrating ten years of marriage TODAY! It’s been a wild and wonderful first 10 years and I have no doubt with some intentionality that the next 10 years will be even more wonderful!